Gina McKee Wellness - Counseling, Psychotherapy, Holistic Help

Understanding Adolescence

Understanding Aolescence

What is ADOLESCENCE anyway?
It’s the “teen years” from twelve to twenty – – the period of transition
from childhood to adulthood.
It’s a time of RAPID CHANGES in:

  • the body
  • emotions
  • attitudes and values
  • intellect
  • relationships with parents and peers
  • freedom and responsibility

WHY KNOW MORE ABOUT IT?

Because it’s an important, stressful and confusing time of life which needs a LOT OF UNDERSTANDING!

FOR GENERATIONS, parents have been troubled by the moodiness, impulsiveness and reluctance to take responsibility that are seen in some adolescents.

TODAY, Adolescence is even more difficult due to cyberspace and all its ramifications, changing family patterns, confusing role expectations, availability of drugs and alcohol and pressures for sex.

PARENTS and ADOLESCENTS who are aware of the common changes and potential problems are better able to deal with them.

Communication

between adolescents and parents may seem impossible at times.

Keeping the lines open is essential.

Do it by – –

taking an ACTIVE INTEREST
in teenagers’ friends, activities, and opinions. Make their friends feel welcome by providing food, a place to talk, etc.

respecting areas of PRIVACY
by not prying, opening mail, eavesdropping on phone conversations, etc. (However, parents should know where their children are and what they’re doing!)

clearly expressing your own VALUES
in important areas like sex, drugs,, money, religion. Teenagers need parents with firm convictions, but don’t harp on them continuously.

LISTENING carefully
not only to what teenagers say, but to what is really meant. Respect their opinions but expect them to change.

Good relations depend on

RULES and EXPECTATIONS
Parents should clearly state rules on hours to come home, homework, chores, family and other responsibilities.

realizing the needs for INDEPENDENCE and individuality. Making decisions – and some mistakes – is essential in growing up.

FLEXIBILITY
Adolescents see things from a fresh slant. Parents may need to do some rethinking about their own patterns.

avoiding needless CRITICISM Since adolescents are not yet sure about themselves, criticism may be felt as a devastating attack.

SUPPORT
Parents must express trust and confidence that the adolescent is a good person whose judgment can be sound.

LOVE and AFFECTION
They may not show it, but teens still, need parental affection and approval.

Of course, disagreements will happen!

  It helps to remember that an adolescent’s "PUTDOWNS" of adult society are often part of the struggle for independence. Maintaining a gentle sense of humor helps parents weather outbursts.

  The biggest CONFLICT AREAS are usually

  • sex
  • money
  • interpersonal relationships
  • religion
  • general freedom

Discuss these regularly as your teenager grows.

NEGATIVE ATTITUDES

toward parents are often disguised ways of seeking adulthood.

~striving for independence
~experimenting with new and sometimes dangerous experiences
~questioning values, or "coming on strong."

PARENTS SHOULD

  • EXPECT increasing maturity, responsibility and independence.
  • MAKE CLEAR what they approve of, disapprove of or merely tolerate.
  • ACT THEIR AGErecalling their adolescence, but acting like parents.
  • BE FIRM not too lenient or relaxed.
  • BE SUPPORTIVE not stressing deficiencies and imperfections too much.
  • BE CONCERNEDbut not overprotective.
  • SET A GOOD EXAMPLE! Actions speak louder than words.
  • SEEK professional advice if a teenager is excessively depressed or consistently irresponsible.

An ADOLESCENT needs a parent’s GUIDANCE, UNDERSTANDING and SUPPORT.

BE SENSITIVE to the pain, pleasures and problems of growing up in a tough, complex world.

APPRECIATE the delightful person every teenager can be – self-reliant, strong, smart, amusing – even wise!

Remember – – at the end of the rocky road of adolescence is AN ADULT!

Warm Regards,

Gina McKee

Gina McKee

Gina McKee is a yoga enthusiast, movie buff, and a firm believer in the MindBody connection. Her app, Chai Pro-Insight to go, is available from Amazon, ITunes and Google Play. She also has a private practice in O’Fallon, Il. specializing in counseling women and children of all ages.

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